Finding love on dialysis
A Cambridgeshire hospital ward is not your typical setting for a love story and a marriage proposal. But this isn’t your typical couple.
Lee Farrington, 49, met the new Mrs Farrington, Kacey, when his kidneys failed suddenly and he ended up on dialysis in 2022.
He says: “It was a scary time, and I’d arranged with my dialysis unit to meet another patient to help me get to grips with what this treatment would mean for my life and career. I worked as a flat roofer before I had to give up work. I was told I was meeting a 40-year-old male bricklayer who could share some advice. Next thing I know, Kacey arrives. I had no idea we’d fall in love.”
Kacey, now 45, has had two transplants since her kidneys failed at 13 years old. However, she has been back on dialysis ever since 2015. As patient representative for their unit, Kacey was assigned to welcome Lee and help him adjust to treatment.
She says: “Dialysis is challenging. It is restrictive and takes over your life. You spend four hours receiving treatment, three days a week. Lee and I sat next to each other and just talked non-stop throughout our sessions about anything and everything. We did that for a whole year before we realised we were falling in love.
“It was when Lee had his first heart attack that I knew I had feelings. He was on dialysis when it happened and I saw him being taken for treatment. I was so worried and burst into tears. I’ve seen lots of patients become seriously unwell and pass away over the years. But I’d never been so emotionally affected. I could see how much Lee meant to me.
“We arranged to go for coffee and sat talking for six hours. That’s what we were used to! Time flies by when we are together. Soon after, I told Lee that I had a crush on him. He told me he loved me and I said it back.”
Lee says: “We were like a couple of lovesick teenagers. When we told our families and the dialysis nurses we were together, nobody was surprised. They had seen how my face lit up every time Kacey walked in the room. We were the only ones who hadn’t seen it coming!”
How kidney disease affected Lee’s heart
Falling in love is not the only way Lee’s heart has been affected by his kidney disease. He is one of many kidney patients living with multiple health conditions, including cardiovascular problems.
It was type-1 diabetes that initially led to Lee’s kidney failure, after 25 years of managing the condition. Although he had annual appointments to monitor his kidney function, Lee was under the impression everything was stable, until he received a phone call after one routine appointment in 2022 to say his kidneys had failed. He has needed dialysis ever since. It is not just Lee’s kidney health which has affected him. He has also been severely impacted by related cardiovascular problems - a stroke and two heart attacks.
Sadly, this is all too common, with around 20,000 kidney patients dying from cardiac issues each year. The kidneys and cardiovascular system work closely together, meaning chronic problems in one area can lead to deterioration in the other. For example, decreased blood vessel health and increased blood pressure in chronic kidney disease can put strain on the heart, leading to heart failure.
Funding cardiovascular research
At Kidney Research UK, we are funding research to improve heart health in kidney patients.
Dr Soma Meran and colleagues at the Cardiff University are one team investigating this area, so that new, more specific treatments can be developed.
Lee’s first heart attack happened in 2023 and required a stent – a small tube inserted to improve blood supply to the heart. His second, at the end of 2025, was more severe, leading to a triple heart bypass.
Lee says: “It happened suddenly when I was on my way to dialysis. I had heart palpitations and my chest felt tight. Before I knew it, I was in intensive care. It was a shock as I’d never been told that my kidney disease put me at risk of cardiovascular problems.
“It was a scary time for all of us. Particularly Kacey, my children and my parents. My sister died from complications while she was on dialysis, and so my health problems cause extreme anxiety for my mum and dad.
“I needed a triple heart bypass and was in hospital for a week before I was discharged. I still needed dialysis throughout that time. Receiving that treatment while recovering from a massive heart attack and major surgery was tough. My body has been through so much.
“Sadly, I’ve had to be removed from the kidney transplant waiting list because of my heart attacks and the medication I’ve needed. It takes a year to go back on. That’s at least another year that I will need dialysis.”
Kacey says: “It was a lot to deal with emotionally and practically. When I got the call to say Lee had a heart attack, I still needed to have my dialysis session. It’s not something you can put off. Treatment, working, looking after our house and dogs, while caring for Lee, has been hard.
“Lee’s cardiovascular problems also cause me to worry about my own heart health, especially after being on dialysis for so many years myself.”
A unique marriage proposal
When Kacey visited Lee during another stay at Addenbrookes Hospital in November last year, she was not expecting to leave wearing an engagement ring.
She says: “We were talking about everything we’d been through and how grateful we were that Lee had come through his latest health scare. It was a very emotional conversation. To distract me, Lee asked me to close the curtains. When I turned around, he was there on one knee with the ring! Of course, I said ‘yes’. It just felt right. It was spontaneous, sincere and very romantic.”
Lee says: “To some people it may sound strange, but to us it was a fitting place to propose. I had been planning to ask Kacey to marry me and kept the ring on me, so she wouldn’t find it. That meant when the time felt right, I had it in hospital with me.
“I was over the moon when she said ‘yes’. Kacey is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. She has the most captivating smile. Everyone who meets her likes her instantly. When I was discharged from hospital, I took her out for dinner to propose again in a more classically romantic setting. Thankfully her answer was still ‘yes’!”
Getting married and planning a future
Lee and Kacey enjoyed a beautiful, intimate wedding on 2 April this year, with close friends and family. However, the next day, they were back to dialysis.
Kacey says: “Making plans as a dialysis patient is often tricky and we regularly cancel because of health problems. That created anxiety when booking a wedding. We never know how we’ll feel waking up each day. I’m also on the kidney transplant list and could receive a call at any time. Thankfully we had an incredible wedding day and beautiful weather.
“Waiting for a transplant and having dialysis means it hasn’t been possible for us to get away for a honeymoon. Even the day after our wedding, we were both on the dialysis unit for treatment. We have planned some nice experiences to look forward to instead, like going to the zoo and a romantic meal to celebrate.
Lee says: “It has been so important to have someone who understands exactly what you’re going through. We both know the impact of kidney disease and can support each other through the rigors of treatment and the exhaustion of being unwell. It can be hard for people to recognise what kidney patients go through, particularly when you don’t look unwell.”
Kacey says: “We’ve both been waiting a long time but we’re hopeful we’ll receive transplants eventually. It’s nice to imagine what that life would be like. We’d love to get away and go hiking with our dogs. It would be amazing to no longer worry about the same fluid or dietary restrictions. I’d love to just enjoy a pint and a massive banana split once we don’t have to watch our potassium levels so closely!”
Lee says: “We want to share our story to try and raise awareness. Kidney disease isn’t always given the same attention as other conditions like heart disease or cancer, but it continues to have a massive impact on our lives, along with millions of other people. Any changes we can support to improve monitoring and treatment for kidney patients, including for related conditions, is so important. It could make a huge difference and save lives.
“For us, I never imagined I’d meet my future wife on dialysis and something so positive could come from it. However, it doesn’t change the fact that being a kidney patient is incredibly hard and more needs to be done to support people affected.”
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